Have been torn between two opposite forces in me — give-in and total abandonment, or teeth-grinding resolve to tough it out on my own.

Thinking of what Charles Bukowski said: “We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing. ”

Would it be for the best if we take a long view of the living business and live it up — getting in touch with what’s really driving us — rather than live it down — just accepting the safe status quo?